Have You Ever Wanted Anything So Bad?

I want to be thin. I want my old body back. I want to wear my size 4 pants and throw out my big tops. Yes, I said it. Throw them out and not just keep them for some rainy day just in case I might need them. If you want it bad enough well, you need to fight for it.

I’m down 20 pounds baby! I said when I was down 20 I would scream from the Empire State Building. Well screw that. I'm aiming for more! I want more. I feel so good dammit. Yes I swore. I'm allowed to right now. I'm working hard enough to swear. The New Year is about ME. I can look myself in the mirror and smile. Hop on that treadmill and lift my right leg and my left leg to run. Who cares if I'm sore when the scale drops the next day? Bring on the aches. I love it! It means I am doing something right.

People offer me dessert and tempt me and I refuse to eat it. Do you really think I will fail because you are offering me chocolate or a loaf of bread? Be my guest and chow down on the 1,000 calories. I'll be looking damn good in my skinny jeans soon enough.

It's one day at a time. I didn't put it on overnight and it won't come off that way. I have time. But just you wait. I'm so excited; as excited as when my Fitbit vibrates at 10k steps. It's an accomplishment. I'm not giving up. Someone once asked me to look in the mirror ask myself "HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?"

Well I want it bad. Real bad.

Ashley Gold